Alma Erna Dolby

Chili Cilch

565w ago

In remembrance of Alma Dolby – Part II I was in awe of her spiritual devotion. On her first night at Atria Collwood, I stayed the night and shared her queen bed. Before she fell asleep, I listened to her whisper out loud prayers that included just about everyone she knew. After her fall that prevented her from living alone at the 34th street house, my Aunt Sue and I teamed up to care for her. We would introduce ourselves to Alma?s doctors, nurses and caregivers as ?Team Alma.? This turned out to be another gift from Alma, she?s the catalyst for the friendship I now shared with her baby girl. Sue and I enjoyed many outings and visits with Alma. We?d take turns pushing her up the hill to enjoy Balboa Park and we?d take her to dinner. We devoted our time to Alma, not out of duty, but because she was a joy to be with. In her final year, the quality of her life greatly declined. She would often not be able to wake for our visits, and communication became more difficult. That?s why I started singing to her, at every visit. She?d remembered most of the lyrics or would just make them up as we?d sing old songs and hymns. Often the other residents of Harbor View Chateau would join in. That?s another lesson, sing, even if you have no talent for it. I?m happy that during my last visit with her, she was sleepy, but perked up to sing ?Unforgettable? with me. As many of you know, that was her favorite song and that?s how we?ll close this service. I hope you?ll all join in to serenade her spirit with the Nat King Cole classic. In closing, I want to tell you that Eddie and Gertie came to me in a dream. I was in a crowded market place. I think it might have been LA?s Grand Central Market. Grandpa Rudy grabbed me by the wrist and said, ?You have to come with me.? He took me to an outdoor café where Grandma Rudy was already seated at a round table. I said, ?Oh I know what this is about, it?s her time isn?t it.? So I let go of the rope, accepting that it was her time. Her body had become her prison and she was ready to be free. Thank you Alma Dolby for all that you?ve given and will continue to give to me. I will live out the remainder of my days knowing that you?re the angel keeping an eye on me. That means, I?ll keep a cleaner house, drink more moderately and try to live each day to its fullest. Jeanene ?Chili? Cilch, granddaughter

Chili Cilch

565w ago

In remembrance of Alma Dolby – Part 1 One of my earliest memories is when my parents lived in the 34th Street back house. I would wake before my parents and Alma would greet me at her back porch door and she?d make me breakfast. I remember visiting her at Hawkins Cleaners and her Sunday night Fried Chicken dinners with mash potatoes and lima beans. I remember she was a loving grandma, generous with her hugs and kisses. I?m not certain when she became more than a grandma. When exactly, she became my best friend. I do know that when we took our first cruise together, spending about a week being cabin mates, that I really got to know her. Our bond wasn?t one only forged by blood, it was a bond of shared sensibilities, humor and interests. I?d often forget that she was old. I remember when we flew to Vancouver and took the Ferry to Victoria, we had to lug our suitcases up a slight hill to our hotel. I?d look back and saw her struggling and remember, oh yeah, she?s your granny she needs some help with that. I wish there were smart phones back then so I could?ve recorded the stories she told me about her youth and her parents. I remember being a little scared of grandma Rudy. Gertie didn?t come off as warm and outgoing as grandpa Rudy. Alma told me she was jealous of her husband, who had easily won the hearts of all the great grandkids. If only I could time travel to hang out with the Rudy?s. They seemed to have a real zest and talent for living. While we all remember Eddie flirting with waitresses, Alma told me that her mom had many gentlemen admirers. Alma enjoyed an ideal childhood and she adored her parents and in her final years, especially when she was in the hospital, Eddie and Gertie were always at her side. Sometimes I felt I was in a tug o war with them, me trying to heal her body, and they trying to take her soul. My relationship with Alma deepened when my dear friend Hollis moved into the back house. We spent lots of time together and we had our Christmas Eve ritual of attending church, eating Alma?s bean soup and opening the stocking presents we had bought for each other. Around 2000, Alma?s eyesight began failing and we had to take her car keys away. That was hard. She loved to drive and valued her independence. I decided that I would take her to church every Sunday, because I knew how much she cherished her Church community. She loved to sing her hymns and I?d try to sing with her but it wasn?t always easy. It was also a great privilege to get to know Alma?s sister in-law Violet and her brother in-law John, who also began attending church with us. Alma?s warmth and genuine interest in everyone she met made her a people magnet. She was loved by so many. Alma taught me many lessons. The importance of caring for others and to freely dole out hugs and kisses. She taught me patience, because I had to have patience to watch her slowly eat a Costco hot dog while sitting in my car. Alma had an open heart that was willing to let go of old ways, and embrace the new. I was proud of her for voting ?No? on prop 8, the one that restricted the rights of gay people to marry. The one thing I wish I could?ve learned from her was how to whistle. She was a damn good whistler. – Continue to next posting for Part II

Chili Cilch

565w ago

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