Kamala Rajgopal's Obituary
A tribute from Rajudu (Rajeshwari Gopalakrishnan) her nieceKalain….For today, I am not going to pen anything in verse…prose willbe fine because the person I’m writing about is a poem herself.Kalain…… where should I start? The memories go back towhen I was a very little girl….. when we went to Coonoor forour summer holidays, she was there. Thamma was posted inthe field I think. She played with us and stitched a newpavadai, chokka for me…I remember a red and green onewith a frill running down the front.I always associated her with the pleasant..chalang..chalangsound of her golusu and key ring, the beautiful big redkunkuma pottu, the starched cotton saree worn so neatly, theglass bangles, looking so fresh always….a picture of gracefulcharm, She must have been the simplest army wife ever.She was a role model for any lady….early to rise, finishing allthe housework to perfection…including making sweets andsnacks all before 9.am, ‘before the kitchen gets hot ‘as shewould say! Then she would keep the afternoon for stitching ,reading and other things like playing ‘Solitaire’ on thecomputer. I have never seen anybody stitch their own clothesso well…She has never worn anything, tailored by anyone else!She’s stitched even shirts for Thamma (he wore them actually)and all Shanti’s blouses even for her wedding….remarkable.She has stitched clothes for everyone including Sathamma’sgrand-child. A few years ago she was diligently puttingtogether a patch-work piece! She is the ultimate reference bookfor making Ribbon pakoda. Thenkuzhal and Muthsarai,Badam cake…. Mysore paak too…but no one could replicatehers. She loved to cook and feed others. I don’t think, we’ll everget to eat Srilankan dishes again with that special saunfflavoured masala, idiyappam on fragrant banana leaves andstew. She has given me those recipe books tho’, written by herown friend. I dare not forget to mention her Ginger lemonjuice and onion pickle…all time hits!She was very modern in her thinking but never forgot hertraditions. I am sure Thamma influenced her a lot in this too.She’d celebrate every festival by the book…wherever theywere posted…any corner of India! On many a Diwali, we’d bestirring from our beds whereas they would have finished their’Ganga snanam’ at the crack of dawn! She would finishcooking all the neivedyam stuff and perform her VaralakshmiPooja by 9.30,a.m while we would be only half way thro’things! She never missed any festival…be it Karadai for theNonbu, Poli for Bhogi, Kalavaisadam for PathinettamPerukku or her own Pulikachal for Kanu! She could manageeverything with a smile….. including tiny bite size laddus andkarakara for Thamma….. the way he liked them! We havepleasant memories of so many festivals and celebrations withthem together with JG and Athimber . How many Birthdays(kids’ ours and theirs) and Anniversaries we have spenttogether enriched by their company and sweetened by herbadam cake.Somehow we got to spend a lot of time with them as we livedtogether in the same city, both in Delhi and Secunderabad andnow once again in Sec’bad ever since we moved in, in ’91. Wecame to Sec’bad for a holiday when I was in the fifth or sixthclass. Thamma and Kalain were in J-40 Bolarum. Kalain usedto collect pots of ‘puli’ from the numerous Tamarind trees inthe compound and distribute to everyone! Shanti was alovable moppet of three or four then, she used to rattleaway…singing all the ads that came on the radio! Everyonewould be in splits when she said “Nirodh purushon ke liye”!! Inever understood the reason for their mirth till I ‘knew’myself!! Kids used to be innocent back then!!! Kalain wouldmake Shanti eat up all the vegetables saying no one wouldmarry her otherwise!On a few occasions when Amma and Appa had to go out ofstation…. when JG was getting married, they went early tomake the preparations…we ( Shanki and I) stayed withThamma and Kalain. We’ve done so both when they were inAlwal and in Detention Barracks. When in Alwal , all of usused to go to Picket… Jayant, Surrie, Shanti. Shanki and I. Ionly remember that Kalian used to cook literally loads of foodto feed the hungry minions! The boys used to have an appetitefit for horses! She made Sweet and Savoury dosas and all kindsof eats by the dozens! Shanti so cutely would instruct her momto spread honey”lavishly” on the toast! Surrie the goody twoshoes kid….making a time table for study even in class six! Idon’t think he came anything but FIRST in his class! He usedto get up early in the morning, have a bath, apply coldcream…yes, cold cream, religiously and powder on top of it!!!Such a cutie pie….Nikhil paiyyan is a splitting image of hisdad. Jayant was the Kumbhakarna of the family…all of usenvied his prowess to sleep through anything and everything!Kalian used to spend so much time to wake him up amidstcries of..’slovenly fellow’. I heard the word for the first timefrom her! I remember her helping me to drape my saree formy Farewell Party at school…we were with them then in Feb1975… Appa and Amma had gone for JG’s Seemantham toKirkee. Jayant and I hardly spoke to each other atschool…tho’ we were in the same class!! I spent a birthday toowith them in Alwal. I don’t know how and why, but I stillremember that Kalain made ‘kuruvi payasam’ and they gaveme a flourescent orange coloured purse (a rage now!) as a giftand a card that proclaimed that I was ‘FAKE’…Fabulous,Attractive, Knowledgeable and Exhilarating! Strange that Iremember this so clearly even now! According to many people,I have a ‘khatarnaak’ memory!Thamma was doing his S.O’s Course back then and would havetests and exams so often! He was a little out of touch with thisand would complain that he could not finish his paper…he wasnot fast enough in writing exams!! I remember that house inAlwal too quite well…the bathroom door had a few holes in itand when everyone exclaimed about it..Thamma…the everresourceful man…took a piece of damp soap and blockedthem…problem solved!!When we came to Sec’bad in 1991, we were with Thamma andKalain till we settled in our home. Aishu was not even threeand Arvind was to get into class three. They have seen Aishuand Arvind right from then and for my kids the two of themwere the only grandparents they were close to, who saw themgrowing up…literally. The children took to them from day oneand love them dearly. The very first day we reached, RG andI had to leave them at home to attend to our luggage etc.. thekids never missed us even tho’ Kalain always rememberedwith amusement how anxious Arvindu, all of eight was abouthis admission to the new school !! Ever since, they have beenpart of our lives and the kids’ growing-up. They were therewith us for every occasion..from our Gruhapravesham toevery Varalakshmi Poojai, from Deepavali to VarushaPirappu, for many other happy moments and that sad onewhen my Amma passed away. Whenever I needed a word ofadvice or solace….. I could call them up…anytime. In fact, thevery first piece of advice on the day after my marriage wasfrom her….’never make your husband wait’ she pronouncedwisely!!Kalainj’s smiling disposition, her calm and collected demeanorand her soft spoken ways……. Her cool efficiency, disciplineand systematic working patterns, her resourcefulness andinnovative ways were lessons to learn from. I remember backthen…she used to take a nap for just ten minutes in theafternoon and that was enough to refresh her, she’d say.Before the siesta she would change and when she awoke, she’dwear her saree back in two minutes flat! When asked how shemanaged that, she revealed a little secret….. that she’d keepthe pleats intact when she removed her saree so that she coulddrape it back in a jiffy! She would put up little reminder noteson the fridge as and when she needed things so that shewouldn’t forget anything when she went shopping. Herimpeccably clean home would give most people a complex. Nowonder Thamma said she was an MSc…master of scrubbingand cleaning!! She loved gardening and grew a cute little onein the small place they had. Her swami room would be ever sofragrant with the Jadimalli flowers from her garden She hadgreen fingers and her kitchen garden gave all kinds of veggiesand fruits…not to forget the vetthalai she liked to munch aftermeals! The creeper growing profusely in my backyard now is ababy of the mommy plant from her garden!Her childlike love for the simple pleasures of life showed thepure heart she had. She loved the simple Dal Tadka anddisliked paneer! She would always choose Khubani ka meethaand fruit salad for dessert whenever we went to eat out, andloved to make the special Dhalia Coconut Milk Payasam whenshe called all of us home. If we seemed too busy to meet shewould call up and ask us over. She was a very appreciativeand encouraging person too and had nothing but nice thingsto say about anybody. In turn everybody has only good thingsto say about her. Such a remarkable person she was. Peoplelike her are rare indeed. We are all going to miss her somuch……… and I’m going to miss her terribly.I can’t bear to think of her in the past tense. Even though sheis no more physically, she’ll forever be present in the ‘present’for me. She will always be present in my thoughts, in my heartand in every small thing and deed that will remind me of her.Even now she is present with me as I have her picture in frontof me, on my study table. In fact, these pleasant memories areKalain’s present to me which I will cherish forever….as longas I live.Thanks Kalain for all the happy times and pleasant memories.With lots and lots of loveRajudu
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